Sunday, June 12, 2005

Craig-the-Awesome would like your input as to what to name his new company.

In my own news, there is no news. I feel very sluggish and bored today, on the verge of cranky. I'm so not excited about Shavuot, I have to admit. I mean, I'm excited about visiting Ari and Sarah Beth in Hashmonaim, but the whole "pressure to stay up all night" and "eating dairy even though the connection to the holiday is tenuous at best" stuff just doesn't do it for me. Actually, what doesn't do it for me is how it's a no-win situation. If I try to stay up all night, I'll be exhausted and bored. And if I do the smart thing and just admit that this isn't for me, and go to bed, then I'll feel like a crappy Jew.

So, now that I'm thinking about it, I think I'll just try to focus on being grateful that we have the Torah- turn it into a kind of Thanksgiving, only with blintzes instead of turkey- do my best to learn something, go to bed, and not feel guilty.

And now that I'm thinking about it even more, I'm realizing that the reason I'm not excited about Shavuot is that it's bringing up all my feelings of guilt over the fact that I really don't spend enough time learning Torah in general. If I can't bring myself, for various lame excuses, to go to shiurim or have a chavruta or whatever the rest of the year, then why would I suddenly be thrilled by the idea of staying up all night to do it now? It's like telling someone who never works out to go run a marathon.

Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt Jewish guilt

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